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| i just remembered something which kind of freaked me out. one of the few people that i couldn't wait to tell that i quit smoking, is anthony because he's always told me to quit. I just remembered something that i said to him a while back. I remember telling him that it would take a really amazing guy to make me want to quit smoking..
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| This might be really weird but have you ever had this feeling that you're keeping something in and if you don't let it out it'll just cause you pain? But what if your not sure you even want to know what that feeling is or are scared to find out what the consequences of letting it out are? Overanalyzing stuff is bad and I try not to do it, but I know that burying your feelings is also bad... i guess i've had this feeling for a while but with all this free time on my hands, i can't help but think about it more.
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| I haven't updated or checked this blog in a while, so here it goes:
Life has been okay. Every person has their ups and downs but this year has definitely had its extremes. My time on CADC is almost up. I still have welcome week to look forward to but after that, it's ChAOS time. Running for cabinet was not a regret. I stressed out more than I ever have and was forced to grow up, but looking back at what I helped to accomplish, and seeing all the Iotas that I helped pick out, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Growing up and being more responsible definitely isn't a bad thing, especially when you look back and realize that you should've done it WAY sooner.
Vibe was for sure a memory to keep in my pocket. It's something that I can always view as an example of how change can be a good thing. I'm excited to see what DC will accomplish with the new Kappa class. The rest of the season flew by so quickly that I wasn't able to soak in Ultimate Brawl. Well, technically this year's not over until Eoty so I'll write more after that.
Most of my closest friends graduated this year....  Unfortunately I still have one more year to go. At least this time I'm slighty more focused than before. I'm not going to lie, I'm scared of this next year. I guess without DC and without all the PMs together, I shouldn't be distracted from my studies. It just sucks that they're going to be so far away. Well, I always know where DC will be and I'll be able to drive over and visit, but Sandra, Joe and Jon are going to be so far away. Oh yea, and then there's the whole guy department. I won't go too into detail just because I'm scared he's going to find this blog and read it, but I guess things are going well. Why do I always end up in situations where I'm forced to attempt a long distance relationship? Well, I don't want to get ahead of myself cause I guess we're still dating? I don't know. That's what I get for not talking, and finding someone who's worse than me that has an even bigger wall up. I didn't think I would find someone that could beat me at not showing emotions, but this guy takes the cake. I guess I finally know how howard must have felt. What goes around comes around... sorta. Okay, maybe I should save the rest of these thoughts for my diary.
Things with my family are going well. I always miss my parents and being home I can tell they miss me. I really miss playing games with my family and just kickin it with them. Too bad the karaoke machine isn't at home anymore.
I keep thinking ahead and trying to imagine what it's going to be like in a month or two, but I know I shouldn't. I should just live in the present and take things as they come, but how can I do that when I already know that so many things are going to be changing in these upcoming months? I don't know if my heart can take all this stress... I'm losing too many people that I love. There I go getting ahead of myself again. I think this is where I should stop writing.
Just for fun here are some pics, some recent, some not... but these people are the reason why I love Irvine
MSG since freshman year!
PMs
before and after
 
the Mansion crew
the ladies
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| that stupid show... every person in america now thinks that they know a little something about dance and are quick to judge others just because they saw a show. i'm sure you all know what show i'm talking about. don't get me wrong, i was actually happy at first that our circuit was finally starting to get recognition.. i really don't know what i'm talkin about right now. excuse my blabbering... i'm delirious.
i give props to those that went out on the show and just did their own thing. it just sucks that they divided the country and only 3 groups from the west coast were able to make it. i know sooooo many dancers that could easily beat out the crews from the other regions. oh well. shout out to my friends that did well last season on the show and goodluck to my friends on supreme soul!
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| yay an update! it's been sooo long!
so life's good right now. it's really easy to just focus on all the shitty things going on and blame the world, but when i think of all the good things in my life, then my frown turns upside down. things with the roomies are better than ever. i never thought that anyone could butt into the threesome that me, Grace and Sandra had, but i was wrong. So no more MSG, now it's GEMS!!!  i love being at home. our apartment always has cookies... we're always hanging out in the living room... when i need it, they can force me to study. yay cross creek!
school is ok right now. so far i've only found out one midterm grade but it was a solid A so that's good!  unfortunately i have two papers to write in the next three days. hopefully i can get my lazy ass to do it so i don't screw up my good midterm scores.
dancing is goin well too. if it's possible i'm falling more and more in love with DC. yes even without a car, i'm still able to find a way to kick it with random teammates. even though we're not best friends, it's never awkward. hopefully by the end of this year, i will have had an outing with every person on the team. that's one of my goals!
so yea this weekend is Urban Paradise in the bay. i'm so excited cause every year that Gen2 did it, i was always out of town and was never able to go to the show. now i finally get to dance in it and not only for Gen2, but CADC too!!! what more could i want?!?! my two families coming together in my hometown and at a venue that i practically grew up in too!
let's see what else... oh yea. i've been playing volleyball at the arc every tuesday and my team's in the playoffs! yay! hopefully everything goes well with that.
i'm still keeping up with what i gave up for lent. that's always good, considering that it was such a big part of my life. hehehe
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